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The Island of Misfit Monsters (TIMM) 20: In The Forest, the Mighty Forest . . .

Updated: Aug 3, 2023


Yeah, best not to look under those logs . . .
The Half Ogre sleeps tonight . . .

Ah, finally we get to the fruits of my week of shenaniganry, and all I can say is . . .


. . . they'll never leave Lucius unsupervised again.


The first part of the group to come upon his good work was comprised of Aria and Killgore. They could immediately tell that something had transpired the moment they found the dwarf and Libya. She seemed quite pleased with herself. The dwarf, on the other hand, seemed displeased with her enough for the both of them.


Not that either would explain at first. Killgore shrugged and went to his room, to deposit his loot. Aria continued to interrogate the dwarf and Libya until Maxwell said 'she can tell ya why I'm angry with her' and stomped off to his room.


Eventually Aria noted the contract Libya hadn't quite hidden and it all clicked together. Being a Lawful Neutral Paladin (just getting a little jump on 2.0) she really didn't care. She agreed with Libya; it was her choice. Max was just being a stuck up stick in the mud. A descriptor that becomes somewhat redundant when applied to a dwarf.


Now, for some reason, seeing the two angry with each other bothered the paladin. So she marched to the surly dwarf's door and began shouting through it. She pointed out that the deed was done. She pointed out that Libya had a good motivation. (Remember, Libya was turned into a Lamia Matriarch and forced to eat the kids she'd been responsible for; denying anyone vengeance for that is "a dick move".) She also said that if Max truly gave a shit about her -which must be or her bargain would not bother him- he'd make sure her sacrifice bore fruit.


{Player's Note: I hadn't realized how funny it was to watch a DM argue with themselves until now. It provides all the amusement of watching schizophrenic people with none of the fear that they're suddenly going to try and stick a lamp shade in your ear.}


But the dwarf would not budge. No matter Aria's argument, Libya was wrong wrong wrong, and that's the end of it.


Ironically, Killgore had finished stowing his loot and opened the door to leave just as this shouting match started up. Surprisingly, he slammed the door and hid in his room like a kid listening to his parents fight until it was over. The moment there was a break in the storm he made tracks for the island's best (and only) bordello. Just goes to show: its the weirdest things that scare big tough guys.


Come to think of this wasn't a good day for Killgore all the way around. I'll swing around to that in a moment.


You see, a couple hours after Aria got into an argument with the dwarf (see: arguing with a wall for more details) Nelzask had made it to Killgore's eventual destination. Victoria was waiting for him at the door. Actually, he'd barely finished thumping the poor plank of wood with one beefy index finger when she stepped out.


Far from just pleased with herself, she seemed quite excited about the prospect of finally having enough power to determine her own course. Nelzask was able to spy the contract tucked into her bag as she stepped out of the house, enlarged herself, and began to drag him into the wood, but he really didn't seem to care.


It's possible that, as a Neutral Good person he really didn't care what deals she made, so long as she didn't put her power to evil uses. At least not in front of him anyways. Besides, there's little difference between LE and CE as far as self styled good people are. But, most likely, he didn't mind because all the blood had currently abandoned his brain at the call of its one true master.


Whatever the reason, after a few steps he caught her intention (despite his blood deprived brain) and began dragging her the rest of the way. And the noise it made; it was as if two thunderstorms were in the midst of an argument!


And now we come back to poor, poor Killgore. As he neared his destination he heard a new noise; he stopped, in curiosity (Now kids, what do we say about curiosity?). The tracker in him insisted he find out what was causing it.


That was a bad choice. A sight he can never unsee, no matter how fast he backed away. Suddenly those expert survival skills of his were being used to ensure a safe distance between him and the cause of that new sound, as he worked his way to the bordello.


And that's pretty much where everyone stayed for the next few days.


They all met back up at the beginning of the fourth day at Jareth's tower. Strangely, only Killgore went inside. He followed the sounds of a fiddle jam session to the top floor where Lucius and Jareth were playing, sat at one of the benches, and waited for them to finish.


Once finished, Jareth informed him that Prince Bag-Oh-Dicks would not be arriving for another day. This was hollered to the others down below. Hermin began an impromptu shindig, even going so far as to conjure a giant drum for Nelzask. The off rhythm thumping of said poor instrument could be heard all over the island.


Jareth, being the good host any Hobgolin would be, sent his goblins for food for all. Part way through the night a small bat alighted on Jareth's shoulders and whispered to him. Jareth informed his fellow revelers that they were wanted at Duke's tower.


They trooped over, expecting a noise complaint. Instead Duke tried to dissuade the party yet again. This annoyed Lucius greatly, who began calling the vampire every synonym for chicken he could come up with. A cynical person might suggest he was trying to keep Duke from saying something that might have convinced his help to abandon him. But cynics are all glass-completely-empty assholes anyways, right?


Not that this group would have quit anyways, even if Duke had unveiled that Prince Should-Have-Been-Swallowed had a Tarrasque for a pet. Upon realizing he was fighting an up cliff battle, Duke wished them luck and suggested they get some rest.


And, to be fair, they did. All two hours of it. Then it was back to revels. Eat drink and be merry . . .



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