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The Island of Misfit Monsters (TIMM) 21: BATTLE!

Updated: Aug 3, 2023

When you've found that worthy opponent . . .

Ah, its that time. The final showdown. The cumulative comeuppance. The epic ending. The . . . okay, I'll stop.

If you couldn't tell, we were all excited to right the parenting mistakes of a king eight hundred years dead. Just as excited as the guy above. Don't believe me? Watch his epic showdown.

Of course, he's an archangel. It's not like our battle could compare. But we certainly did our best.

The first sign of the impending BATTLE! was the arrival of the five tower protectors (yes, even the ones we'd previously slain. Apparently they got better.) They took up the five points of a three hundred foot pentagram, at which point, fog began rolling in from the center. It filled the pentagram, raising up to five feet, as if piled up like extremely cooperative soap bubbles, over the course of ten minutes.

During this sleight of dry ice Jareth was playing a strange song on his ukulele (that sounded as if it were an organ; no not the squishy kind). Aria succeeded at a knowledge check to identify the ritual in progress, and informed the group that they had about ten minutes. At the nine minute mark she began casting all buffs that lasted for minutes per level, including giving Nelzask and Lucius Ironbeard.

{Player's Note: Nelzask was an obvious target, what with his abhorrent AC. I think Dan targeted Lucius just because he like the idea of turning him into a Bearded Devil. Bit of a demotion from Contract Devil, really.}

The DM informed us that there would be no surprise round, as Prince Adam was aware of the courtyard for the whole ten minutes of the ritual. Seemed like DM handwaving to me . . .

And of course, the rotten bastard rolled highest on the initiative roll. First, he inquired as to the motives of the group by asking if they were here to serve him. Apparently, it was quite common for a group of adventurers to fight their way through his "Kingdom", wreck his mansion, and kill his guards as a means of signaling that they were job hunting.

Round One

The group guffawed at this collectively (probably the first thing they've all agreed on in the entire campaign) and Adam immediately disappeared into the fog like the coward he is. But, in the center of the fog a huge Nalfeshnee emerged.

Everyone in the party waited for Aria and Hermin to cast their final buffs, haste, and start a performance.

Lucius then used Dimensional Dervish to teleport to Duke, trip him (forgoing the two AOO's that so temptingly presented themselves) warned him to stay out of it, and then teleported to the demon and burned the rest of his attacks on him. And yes, he gained one critical fail for his trouble

Libya (who'd been built as a Slayer (of what I'll let you guess)) studied the Nelfashnee, charged and crit the Nelfashnee. Unfortunately, she incurred quite a few AOO's from it in the process.

Jareth, completely ignoring Lucius's warning as well as common sense, began a performance. Lucius used a Villain Point (he is evil, after all) to dimensional assault back over to Duke. As he appeared he said 'I warned you' and tripped the hobgoblin, this time not passing up on the two AOO's it provided. The first went fine. The second was a natural 20, which sounds awesome. Unfortunately I rolled a 1 on the confirm. Since its still considered an attack roll both happened. Lucius crit the smelly goblin, but also managed to smack himself so hard he was dazed for one round.

Killgore proceeded to perforate the Nelfashnee.

Nelzask challenged Vigo the Igo, and terrified Paul the guy who prefers to be a Walrus. Vigo looked concerned. Paul booked it away as fast as his crappy walrus land speed would let him.

Victoria cast Mirror Image (the spell no DM likes) on Aria, and flew towards the demon.

Round Two

Prince Adam took issue with Duke's lack of initiative. Duke attempted to explain that he'd rather not lose his soul. Adam responded to this in typical spoiled brat fashion. He appeared next to Duke and threatened him.

Aria moved forward and channeled, mainly just to heal Libya

Hermin cast Shadow Bard

Lucius swayed about, muttering threats at people who seemed to have grown quite a few dopplegangers.

Libya, suddenly without a flanker, attempted to cast Hold Monster on the Nelfashnee. The only result of her attempt was a slight snicker from the demonic thing. She then attempted an acrobatics to its opposite side, in the hopes that on of the others might provide the flank she so desperately needed. She failed horribly, incurring still more AOOs.

Whether or not Duke took that warning seriously, Jareth certainly did. He picked himself up off of the ground (again) and tried to cast Hold Monster on Nelzask; it did not go well for him.

Nelzask moved in and attacked Vigo, who immediately reciprocated. It did not go in the ugly bastards favor.

Okay, so that's not very specific. The exchange was entirely in Nelzask's favor.

Killgore continued his efforts in turning the demon into a large pin cushion.

Victoria cast invisibility on herself and moved to provide a flank with Libya.

Paul hopped around like a dying fish, making Walrus-in-distress noises. No, you don't want to know what that sounds like.

Gozer moved in behind Libya.

Lucius's sparring partner alighted on the castle tower. At that moment no one knew what the Draco Liche intended (Does anyone else picture a skeletal dragon with Draco Malfoy's face, or is it just me?). Perhaps he'd planned to watch? Perhaps to help? Lucius warned him telepathically that there would be consequences if he chose the third option.

Duke still refused to act. Selfish prick, am I right?

Round 3

Adam again demanded that Duke participate. Duke said he'd take any fate before losing his soul. Fed up with Duke's unwillingness to spiritually fall on his sword, Adam revealed that fate. A scream pierced the air from the direction of Duke's tower. Duke's eyes blazed and he attempted to attack Adam. Before he could, Lucius burned his last Villain point to teleport behind Adam and trip him. And yes, he relished the two AOO's that provided. Adam failed the spell that would have been Duke's undoing.

Aria and Hermin continued as they were.

Lucius used a full round of attacks to stomp Adam as far into the ground as possible. He earned yet another crit fail, but I was able to undo it. (rewards for cooking for the group)

Libya laid into the Nelfashnee with brutal abandon, dual wielded scimitars flashing faster than could be seen. Crits flying left and right. I imagine it looked a lot like two circular saws racing each other. Through a cow. She didn't even get to her Two Weapon Rend damage before it died what appeared to be a most horrific death. Strangely enough, it thanked her. Prince Adam then used a Villain Point to summon this guy.

The draco liche flew down to the field and breathed acid on Lucius, Vigo, and Victoria. Saves were made.

Nelzask continued his good works against Vigo.

With the death of the Nelfashnee, Killgore swapped aim to Vigo . . . and crit failed twice.

Gozer attacked Libya.

Paul's hop of terror ended and he began retracing his steps. Everyone was grateful.

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