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Many Alternate Doors, No Exits in Sight (MADNES) 36: Woosah!

Updated: Aug 3, 2023

I mean, who likes to find out they've been kept out of the loop, right?
If only Dwarves had therapists . . .

We've all been there; we're in trouble. We know we're in trouble. But the impending boot has yet to fall upon our necks. We're waiting. It's never a fun feeling, whether you're a kid waiting for dad to come home from an fun filled day of slaying dragons, or an adult that has to inform their CO of all the things they didn't inform them of previously.

Needless to say, Hazel drug her feet from her meeting with the Boogeyman. There was talk of looking in on Zahluski. Mentions of the Dullahan. Admiration of the scenery, as if for the last time.

So it was something of a relief for her when runt showed up with a message. Apparently, on top of meeting with Hazel, the as yet unconfirmed Boogeyman (he said he wasn't, but would a Boogeyman really admit it? That's like expecting a thief to answer in the affirmative when asked if he was stealing really) had gone to meet the Gnoll Shaman. Who was not entirely convinced that he wasn't said Boogeyman. But, if he was, he was a suave one.

The message was a simple one. Simply that the Boogeyman had introduced itself to the Shaman. They'd had a talk. Oh, and have you reported to Noblesword yet? Once the note was delivered, Runt made to speed off.

Before Runt could, Thor demanded the Dulahan's head. The one the persnickety little Gnoll had stolen and been running around with since. He seemed quite crestfallen as he pulled out his pack and handed over the headless horseman's head. Thor promised him more heads, just as soon as he found some suitable replacements. To which the stunted Gnoll brightened. Then he sped off, off to whatever shenaniganry he was up to.

{Player's Note: Imagine the hell that he and Loki would have raised.}

Meanwhile Frank and Steve were just finishing up what they'd learned about Hazel's unilateral decisions to the head of their branch of this mixed fighting force. As they'd talked she'd increasingly resembled a pressure cooker. Once they'd finished their report (read: snitching) Noblesword had told them, in careful measured words, to find Hazel and bring her to account for herself. They saluted and left.

They met Hazel and Thor half way there, and escorted them the rest of the way. At the tent they warned Thor to wait outside. The guards drew the tent flap aside with a reverence usually befitted for condemned prisoners, allowing her in.

Once inside, Hazel became indignant. Her cursory farce of an interrogation had confirmed what she'd already known. She saw absolutely no problem with keeping her deals with incorporeal entities from her peers, let alone her superiors. And she remained entirely unrepentant as Noble Sword questioned her.

(You see, this is why you don't let witches raise children; they get a warped view of normal)

The Dwarf, on the other had, began looking less like a pressure cooker, and more like a volcano on the cusp of an immanent sneeze. There were several stops and starts as she did her best to reign her temper in. In the end she told Hazel that Grave T. Robber was ready to deal with the Dullahan, and sent her to help him. She was to report to the graveyard immediately.

Once outside Hazel informed the group of her orders. Lacking any of their own, and not wishing to brave a tent that was visibly smoldering, the group assumed that the orders were actually for her entire group, and followed.

Of course, it is always possible that this was supposed to be some form of exotic execution, but we'll never know.

Once at the graveyard, they found an interesting sight. Half of it was filled with wisps. Mr. T Robber was at the end not covered in wisps, doing . . . whatever it was he did. As they approached, Thor pulled the Dulahan's head out of his pack.

Robber accepted it, and asked for a holy weapon. Thor donated his holy sword. The weakest of his three weapons. Mr. T Robber then told the group to keep the Dulahan busy while he went into the Dulahan's crypt.

The gate to the crypt had not been closed for more than a minute before the sounds of hooves clapping against the ground approached them. This followed by the telltale dimming, and blue shifting of lights. Lastly the Dulahan appeared, intent on stopping the ritual now in progress.

In all, it was a short fight. Frank scored two critical hits early on. But, balance being what it is, he also scored two critical failures. Still, the damage from those two crits, not to mention knocking the specter off his horse and disarming him (Jedi style), was significant. Thor sealed the deal with an enlarged, raging, 3x crit of his own.

But, before the Dulahan could be finished, a light from the heavens appeared. It floated into the sky as Mr. T Robber exited the mausoleum. The group then went and found the horse the Dulahan had been riding. Once dismounted it had wandered about the battlefield rather aimlessly.

It tried to run, but an enlarged Thor easily caught up and restrained it. Rifling through it's bags revealed a collection of heads, a collection of hands, an evil chaotic sword, and an evil chaotic bow made from a spine and two skulls, a Wyvern Cloak, and a black and white ring that just screamed 'I'm cursed'. In the end, Frank received these things, and took possession of the horse. Except the heads, which turned out to be the heads of the Constructors responsible for such abominations as the dog-thing (now named Fluffy) back at camp.

Before they could leave the merchant they'd purchased sunrods off of appeared, offering to buy the weapons for 20k gold. Being that they were a +9 and +10 weapon, he was laughed off.

They then returned to Noblesword to report. Frank riding an undead flying horse resembling a Nightmare turned more than one head. Even the CIC was quite impressed. They reported, with Hazel (who'd apparently finally figured out the deep shit she was in with the commander) hiding behind Thor.

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