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The Island of Misfit Monsters (TIMM) 12: How to Make a Withdrawal

Updated: Aug 3, 2023


Just some walkin around money . . .
I'll take all of everything thank you.

Annnnnd we're back. When last we left our "heroes" they were in various states of face-palming. They were, of course, well within their rights to do so. It says so in the adventuring handbook. When one character fails to mention they've noticed the entrance to the dungeon vault the group is entitled one face-palm. Page 12, section three, second paragraph.

I'm fairly certain either Nelzask or Killgore was tempted to conduct a modified face-palm: their palm against Lucius's face. Fortunately they refrained.

Of course, raiding the vault got put right to the top of the to-do list. But tomorrow, after they'd rested. Good thing the Prince wasn't going anywhere.

The next day they woke bright and early and headed back to the dungeon. As the group was trying to figure out a way across Lucius rolled his eyes and used abundant step. Upon reaching the other side he immediately pulled the lever. A door next to it popped open and he stepped inside, stopping to keep it from swinging closed again. This arrangement gave him a wonderful view of the group's bumbling (yet creative) attempts to get down the corridor.

Aria was next down the strip. She ran. She didn't even try to avoid any of the colors. She made it exactly half the distance before failing the save for one of the darts, a real doozy too. Not only did it paralyze her for a minute, but it began draining her Con. 1D6 Con per minute for six minutes to be precise. Dan's second character of the campaign was certainly looking down the barrel of a very large gun.

A few seconds later the trap door at the end of the hallway dropped away. Lucius leaned over to see a ten foot drop into a pool of acid of indeterminate depth.

Meanwhile, after witnessing 'what not to do' the rest of the group decided on the slow but steady method. They ran into a slight kink initially; it turned out that the 'safe' color changed periodically. They had but to hope it didn't do so during their passage.

As Lucius watched the group grope their way along he became more and more shocked that they had not met an untimely end long before rescuing him. But, his incredulity was stepped up a notch as Killgore made it across.

The Bugbear immediately began searching for a switch to shut the traps off. Now there's nothing wrong with that per say. In fact its quite intelligent, should one wish to deprive themselves of their first entertainment in over six hundred years.

What was a problem was the way he went about it. He examined the walls, he ran his fingers around the cracks. He checked the ceiling. At no time did he do anything with the giant picture of a duck hanging at the end of the otherwise unadorned hallway. Let me say that again: THE OTHERWISE UNADORNED HALLWAY.

Lucius's amusement quickly one-eightied into annoyance and he walked into the vault, allowing the door to close behind him. And yes, he'd figured out how to disable the traps. He'd concluded that there was a switch behind the picture almost immediately. But, spare the rod spoil the idiot, as the saying goes.

While the group contended with the carpet of doom he began to explore. There were four Type 2 Bags of Holding hanging on hooks just inside the room, almost as if the king wanted the treasury looted. Lucius didn't actually take anything until Killgore opened the door. Then he grabbed a set of gloves that were a combination of Devil(Normally Demonic) Smith's Gloves and Deliquescent Gloves, and a Monk's Robe. He also found a nice case. Opening it revealed a fiddle made of white gold and silver trim, because reasons. It was in excellent condition. Drawing the accompanying bow across the instrument produced the sound a wooden fiddle might have made.

Lucius began to play the fiddle (Perform check: 34) as the rest of the group slowly worked their way into the room. They quickly picked out various items for themselves. Hermin found a sentient shroud and began arguing with it.

Sentient objects being nothing but trouble, Lucius quickly snatched the shroud away intent on throwing it into the pit of acid. The shroud immediately hit him with an Inflict Minor Wounds, which only solidified his conviction.

Unfortunately Hermin was still attached to the other end. While Lucius won the opposed strength check to determine the thing's fate he still wasn't able to gain control of it. Hermin then diplomacied him to let it live . . . successfully. Damned bards.

Lucius let it go, at which point the thing wrapped itself around the Minotaur's head. Yeah, that's not going to come back to bite him later on.

{Player's Note: The DM also said the thing has an ego score of 17. Hermin is True Neutral, and it is Lawful Good. Oh yeah, I"m gonna have fun with this.}

Nelzask found what at first appeared to be a Crown of Conquest fitted for a large character's head. Initially suspicious, the rather slow Half Ogre asked the group for advice. Lucius and Aria felt that it would be most becoming on the Half Ogre. Killgore voted that he should get it, oversized hat size notwithstanding. Hermin said no, for no reason we could discern.

Faced with a tie Nelzask decided to try it out. But, before he could scurry to a mirror to check out his new bling it became apparent that this was a cursed crown. Instead of the normal benefits it granted the curse of intelligence (+6 enhancement) and reduced three skills chosen at random to 0 ranks. {Player's Note: And, for those of you who think intelligence can't be a curse, you've never tried to have a factual discussion with an idiot.}

Of course, the headgear would not come off. Nelzask immediately tried to blame Lucius for his predicament. The target of his ire quickly used diplomacy to point out that he hadn't been the one that identified the item. He hadn't been the one to fail to detect magic on the thing, or check for a curse. He'd assumed the bard knew what he was talking about. That is kind of their job. He'd just felt that the crown would suite the only person who could actually wear it well.

The target of Nelzask's ire shifted to Hermin. Success!

The group then decided to ferry as much of the valuables in the treasury out via Lucius. He used up his ki to abundant step as much as possible to the stables outside. His last trip left him, Aria, and Nelzask in the treasury. They filled their recently emptied bags up one last time for the day and headed out the way they'd come in.

Lucius led the way, stopping to remove the picture and throw the switch that disabled the traps before sauntering down the hallway. There was much face-palming to be had.



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