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The Island of Misfit Monsters (TIMM) 6: I'll Take Proper Use of Flamethrowers for 500 Alex.

Updated: Aug 3, 2023


I don't suppose you'd believe me if I told you I'm Spiderman?
Where's a Monty Python foot when you need one?

Most exterminators, when faced with a spider with a six foot long body, hanging on the wall next to them would choose between three actions: scream, shit themselves, and run. Some might just elect for all of the above.

On the off chance they escaped said eight legged freak they would certainly embark on an aggressive job hunt.

Then there are the Delicious Cupcakes. When confronted with the above horror they simply decided they needed to reload. So it was back to the barn of bastion for a good two hour's sleep. And not even one nightmare between them.

The group barely stopped to question the now deharpified (yes, its a word) woman they rescued some days before. Then it was back into the depths.

Upon reaching the staircase for the second time they noted that the webbing was back. I mean seriously, the spiders might as well have left out an unwelcome mat for all their lack of subtlety.

The lizard immediately touched this fresh knitting off with his lantern staff, a somewhat frightening gleam in his eyes. Then the fighting began. The hall at the base of the stairs had been re-inhabited in that short time. The group proceeded with re-eviction.

Once that hall was clear Rhiltix scouted down the corridor to where it branched to the left. We're none to sure as to why the healer was the one scouting; he didn't exactly put the decision up for debate.


Upon seeing another trio of unsuspecting spiders he sprinted down the corridor to deliver a touch spell by way of Ruinic Charge. (Did I mention that he's suicidal as well as being senile; of course, that means he often forgets he wants to die . . . )

Well, he didn't get his wish there, instead stunning the target of his charge with a crit. The rest of the group charged around the corner to back him up. The most interesting thing to occur was when Yoric crit failed and threw his starknife behind himself. With his target in front of him. We're still not sure of the mechanics on that . . .

Afterwards the group decided to explore a door on the left side of their new hall. As it turned out, it opened into a dressing room with a second door. That door opened up on the hallway by the stairs. The room was also filled with four large spiders, skulking about the cieling. Four very unobservant spiders that missed the skeleton ducking into the room to check things out. Apparently they'd missed the sounds of battle in the adjoining hallways as well . . .

Skeletor decided to go to the door by the stairs while the others led a frontal assault on the side door. (would that be a sidal assault?) Killgore took up an overwatch position at the corner of the halls, giving himself line of sight on both doors. Before they began, Rhiltix cracked the door just enough to light the webbing in the room on fire. They waited expectantly for the weird squealing sound of a spider in distress, then charged into the room.

In the first round the Bugbear moved to back Yoric up. The rest of the group then advanced through the side door. Yoric opened his door, allowing Killgore to get off a readied action to shoot through it. He then stabbed the Bugbear's target, and reclosed the door.

The next time he opened the door the spiders were gone. Looking up, he found them dangling on the ceiling. One dropped back down to confront the staggered duo. It did not last long enough to regret that choice. The other opted for the better part of valor and joined its comrades that were holding the other door.

Meanwhile, Rhiltix had managed to fail a save on the spider's venom, and began taking Con damage. A lot of Con damage actually. So much so he was starting to see a white light. But, the group was able to kill the last of the spiders just as he made his saves to end his condition.

Of course he was all for pressing on. He was outvoted.



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