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The Architects of Betrayal (TAB) 26: Much Ado About Chaos

Updated: Jul 20, 2023

Does no one realize I'm threatening the painter?
Ah, just reading it makes me hear the music . . .

And so brings our maniacal group of loot lusters to the final camp, lucky number 17. By this point its no surprise that the group had stopped taking the lookout posts seriously. Indeed they seemed quite eager to be done with the whole affair. The characters acted as if they'd been paroled from a year long internment. Hey, I didn't make them take this side quest. Bet they won't take any more . . .

It started with Tanic in a tree (doesn't it always?) stabbing the shit out of some poor inoffensive lookout. During the surprise round, Alex couldn't decide on a mode of travel; fly, or walk? At which point Dave pointed out that the kobold could saunter. I put in my two sense by singing the relevant chorus from Stayin Alive. Which instantly became Tanic's number one favorite music to stab people to . . .

Me and my big mouth.

This also happened to be the dweeb who, by some freak chance of dice, ended up pitching forward and getting his pants caught on the tree when he went unconscious. So there he was, in an epic act of defiance, mooning Tanic. Tanic, of course, handled this the only way he knows how.

Violently. Based on the look on your faces I'd say you don't even need me to detail what happened next.

But that's no fun is it? In short the twisted bastard gave the lookout an anarectemy! Right up to the hilt . . . This was of course a coup de grace attempt, meaning it wasn't enough to kill the man by turning him into a demented popsicle. Oh no, he got a crit card too. And what crit card did the gods of chance reward him with?

Deep Hurting: Double damage and target is fatigued. Yep, just fatigued. Not choking on his murderer's sword . . . from the anus.

When they got to the camp proper I threw down the gauntlet telling them there was an hilarious way they could assault the camp. I even offered xp for figuring it out. They ignored the challenge entirely. Not sure if laziness or boredom contributed to that decision. All I wanted was for them to polymorph Tanic into a bunny. He could then hop all cute like into the camp before preceding to murderize the poor camp guard. As they bent over to pet him. Like his allies did the last time.

They went with the tried and true; sneak in and commence with the stabbings. Boring. They managed to kill the camp guard before he could do anything. The sleeping night watchman, roused by the screams of his dying companion, cracked the door and fired out at the intruders. Which just gave everyone else a way to get in. What's worse, as they crowded into the cabin, the two eidolons began hammering against the walls on the opposite side. I imagine that would be quite unnerving. Certainly enough to get this guy to surrender.

Which again, left them with the dilemma of what to do. They tried the 'look over there' gag with the paladin but he wasn't buying. So they tied the captive to the rafter. Then they left Minerva, Zubat, Halona, and the eidolons to watch the man whilst Tanic and Quagrim killed them the last lookout to the east. Zornesk stayed behind as well, ostensibly to watch the watchers. Damned internal affairs, always getting in the way! Minerva passed the time by asking the man about techniques for filleting things. Personally, I didn't know a human could get that pale . . .

After their return Bob, seeing it was time to take the man with them, ripped the entire rafter, ghostly prisoner and all, from the hut. From then on he walked with the rafter over his shoulder hobo style, a puking lookout at the end. The last two lookouts never knew what hit them. It was probably better that way.

The group also had to fight two Nelfashnee. Dave handled this with his usual sneak and stab tactics. Tactics that should not have worked against creatures with a +31 to their perception and constant true seeing. But they did. Damned dice. I swear I'm going to melt one of you bastards down while the rest watch! Despite the unlikely success of his standard gambit, Tanic still almost died twice. Ah, good times.

P.S. I'll get that shifty fucker one of these days . . .

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