What Deadpool 2 needs . . .
Updated: Oct 4, 2019
So, my roommates and I were talking the other day (no, not in text; actual verbal communication) and we came to a consensus about what the next Deadpool needs.
No, its not a battery operated unicorn. Who would think of that?
No, its not a back flap on his suit to facilitate ease free mooning of the audience. Seriously, what kind of perverts have I attracted to this site?
NO, ITS NOT . . . . you know what; why don't I just tell you what it is?
As much as I was disappointed by Spider-Man: Homecoming (see review) my roommates and I have agreed that he should definitely show up in the next Deadpool. Why you ask?
Because there is no way he wouldn't look upon the Stark Spidey Suit and its 101 gadgets, gimmicks, and modes with the naked avarice and soul ringing desire of a 6 year old looking at their present laden Christmas Tree for the first time. And we all know that with Deadpool impulse leads directly to action just as flipping a light switch invariably lights a room. Well, as long as there is a bulb in the appropriate socket. And provided you've paid your electric bill. And . . . you know what, that wasn't a very good simile. I'll fix it in post.
But back to the point. The Red Knight would surely burn through the first two of the Ferengi Stages of Acquisition with the zeal a shopaholic devotes to reaching their credit limit. This would, as a matter of course, lead to Deadpool Swinging (poorly) through the city in a suit (showing midrift and calves) scream-singing the Spider-Man theme song as the security system Tony almost certainly equipped Karen with repeatedly shocks him. Which would only serve to make him sing louder . . .